Cheat Day

Yesterday was my long awaited cheat day.  I surprised myself and didn't totally binge.  I didn't really have the urge to.  I ran 3 miles in the morning and then had my normal breakfast: a Paleo smoothie.  We went to church and then headed to my niece's birthday party.  I ate a section of a Publix sub with turkey and cheese, had a handful of tortilla chips with guac, and some watermelon.  I then of course had birthday cake complete with ice cream.  Don't get me wrong, it was good, but not as good as I had anticipated.  I think my anticipation for it was much better that it really was.  Actually, my anticipation was higher in week 2 of the challenge than it was yesterday.  Hmmmm....maybe I really did rid myself of poison and addictive substances.  I didn't eat again until our group cheat/celebration meal at Pozole because I was so full.

It was so nice to see everyone that had been supporting each other.  We met some new faces and got to talk all about our struggles and what was next for each of us.  It was a great group.  We started the celebration with a pitcher of jalapeno margaritas.  They definitely had a spicy kick and were very tasty.  We also had chips and salsa and cheese dip.  I went with the nachos for my entree because I love them and it was my cheat day :)  I think normally I would have polished them off even though it was a huge serving.  However, I could only eat half.  Also, I would normally want something sweet to finish everything off but I really didn't this time.  It was totally amazing. 

I ended up winning the challenge which was an extra bonus!  Kristen purchased a caveman looking hammer for me that had Paleo Goddess on one side and Paleo BA on the other side (I guess depending on how I'm feeling that day).  It was awesome.  I plan to keep in my office as a reminder for when I start to struggle.  The next cheat day is set for Saturday.  I'll be at the Georgia vs. Tennesse game.  I was supposed to cheat this Friday because it's cake day, but I think Saturday will be harder than Friday so I had to make a choice.  Besides, I had cake yesterday.

This morning, I am back at it.  Not a big deal.  I don't feel restrained.  I feel in control.  That makes me happy and proud.  I hope to keep up this kind of control - God willing (and he will).  Stay tuned.  I'll keep you updated now and again. 

Until...

The Results Edition

So this morning I did the official post 30 day weigh and measurements.  No, that's not me above...unfortunately, but fortunately, it wasn't that drastic.  I did take before and after pictures but have no fear, they will not be anywhere in a blog or close to Facebook.  You're welcome. 

Here are my results.

Lost 9.4 lbs total
Lost 1.5 inches in my hips
Lost 3.0 inches in my waist
Lost 1.5 inches in my bust (for the record, I'd like to move this decrease to my thighs...)

Lost 0.5 inches in my thighs
Lost 0.0 inches in my arms (I'm sure this is because I've been building up my guns in CrossFit...)

 

I'm still not a 36-24-36, but I'm also not 5'3'' :-) Sorry Mom, you probably won't get that reference...I'll fill you in

 

Well, I'd say it worked!  There you go.  I'm the proof.  You can do it too :-) When does your challenge start?

 

Until....

Day 30!!!!

Yes! I made it!  30 long days.  As you know, I'm going to stay strong until Sunday and then I'm going to have some fun.  Maybe I'll have some brunch.  Or perhaps, I will not eat breakfast and plan to eat at Mellow Mushroom for lunch. It's a tough call. Sunday is also my precious niece, Emma's birthday so I shall have cake!  Then, we are having a celebratory end of the diet cheat meat with the whole Paleo group at Pozole in Midtown.  It's a Mexican restaurant so it can't be bad.  If cheese is involved, it will be all good.  The bottom line is that on Sunday, I will not be paying attention to what goes in my mouth.  Then, on Monday, it's back to it.  And for the next week, my cheat day will be Friday.  Why you ask?  Because it's CAKE DAY!!  That's right.  I will strategically pick my cheat days.  Then maybe it will be date night and I can go to 2 Dog and have a glass of Pinot.  I know.  It's sad how much I'm looking forward to this.  The key will be eating clean until my cheat days.  I think it's doable, I really do.

Today was good.  I started out with my smoothie.  I definitely think I'll keep those in the menu rotation.  I had some almonds for snack and then the temptation began.  We took Anna and Mike out to Mellow Mushroom.  Mike (from Las Vegas) had never been to Mellow Mushroom!  I know, I know!  It's a sin for the Sin City resident.  So, of course we had to take him.  I resisted one more day.  I had a nice salad.  Then, Nova wanted to go to Gimme Some Suga bakery for cupcakes as if I hadn't already been through enough temptation. I went in and breathed in the sweet aroma....and left without a cupcake.  Surprisingly, I was ok.

Gimme Some Suga Bakery in Suwanee Town Center...Yummy!

I can't believe 30 days is over.  Thank you so much for reading, for supporting, for sending me advice.  You have been my biggest motivation.  Just knowing that I would have to come home each day and be honest with what I ate during the day has kept me going.  I mean, take tonight.  I am home alone on the last day of the challenge for me.  I technically could cheat and no one would know.  But I could not live with myself if I ate what I wanted and didn't tell you.  Thank you so much for being my accountability partner.  I will keep you posted now and again on how life after the challenge is going.  I'll definitely let you know all about Sunday.  I'll also let you know how I feel on Monday ;-) I don't think I'll go too overboard.  I'm still fearful of the scale creeping back up.

Until....

Days 28 and 29...1 to go!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen....I have arrived!  One last day tomorrow!  Ok, really, I'm going to go to Sunday, but officially, only one day.  I really can't believe it's almost over.  And....as of this morning, I've lost 8.5 lbs!  Maybe God just wanted to see if I'd stick with it to reward me.  For like 20 days I had only lost between 3-4 lbs.  Now, I've lost 8.5 lbs.  I'm kind of nervous to brag about it because I'm afraid when I get on the scale tomorrow that I will have gained some back.  After I weighed myself this morning, I reset the scale and weighed again just to be sure.  Phew....same number.  Maybe it's my realization of the 340 calories in the muffins.  Maybe it's me just paying more attention to how much food (no matter how whole the food is) goes into my mouth.  This burning more than you eat is a novel idea.  I mean, it's the most basic piece of nutritional advice you can get.  I learned that in 6th grade from Coach McCord in Health.  The truth is, we all know the answer.  We all know what to do.  We always have.  It's no secret.  It's no special diet.  It's about having self control.  It's about not eating crap.  It's about caring about yourself.  It's about believing you are worth it.

Inspired?  I am.  At least today.  I can't tell you how I will be on day 43, but I really hope I can remember how I feel right now.  I hope I can remember how it felt for my once too tight jeans to be a little too loose.  I hope I can remember when I resisted cake on cake day; when I resisted pizza at Napoli's, when I resisted the tortilla chips at Cinco.  I hope I can remember that I can be strong and that no one is forcing food down my throat.  All those feelings are so good.  They all build confidence.  The feeling of confidence lasts a lot longer than the taste of a chocolate chip cookie.  It's so worth it.  While I'll probably modify my eating a bit from the Paleo diet, I really want to continue eating clean.  I want to continue eating whole foods and watching my refined sugar intake.  If you know me, you know I love sugar and I was an addict.  If I can do this you can too.  Just start tomorrow.  You don't have to wait until Monday.  You can start immediately.

Ok, enough heart to heart.  That's a little much for me.  Today was good.  I knew I couldn't work out because I had youth group tonight.  So, I ate a light breakfast; just a banana.  I snacked on almonds.  For lunch, Anna, who's on my team, is in from Las Vegas so I took my team out to lunch.  They chose Hibachi.  I cheated a little....I had the chicken lettuce wraps and I'm sure the chicken had Teriyaki sauce on it.  Not a bad cheat, but a cheat.  I'll be taking points off for that.  The good news is that the portion was pretty small.  Also, the crazy chef kept trying to give me the extra fried rice.  I had to say no thank you 3 times.  So I think I did pretty good.  Before church I had a muffin.  Yummy.  For dinner I had turkey and guacamole.  Oh, and at church, I gave all my girls Airheads.  The Airheads actually came from a ginormous box that Tracy bought for me from Costco because I love them.  Apparently, I hid them from myself and I found them the other night and knew I had to get them out of the house.  So, I gave them to the 7th grade girls.  Their parents are probably hating me right now.  Of course, they each had about 5 instead of just 1.  But I had none.  I had leftovers so I gave them to Kiersten.  A total win.  A good day.  One to go.

So, until tomorrow....

Day 27...3 to go.

Oh dear, I think I just figured out why I might not be losing weight.  So, you're familiar with the Morning Glory Muffins by now.  They are pretty much amazing and I kind of feel like I'm cheating a bit by eating them.  I'm totally not.  They are Paleo legit.  All ingredients I can eat.  The sweetness comes from the carrots, raisins and apples.  If you recall, I ate 3 in one sitting last week.  Oh dear.  Tonight, I decided to make one last batch before the challenge was over.  After reading my book about having a negative energy balance, I decided to figure out how many calories were in each muffin.  While making the batch, I wrote down the calories for each quantity of each ingredient.  Then, I added up all the calories and divided the total by 12 (the number of muffins each batch makes).  Oh dear.  Each muffin is 340 calories!!  Yes, and I had 3 in one sitting last week.  I was having 2 for breakfast!  That's a 680 calorie breakfast!  Oh dear.  No wonder I'm working my butt off running, biking and crossfitting and not losing any weight.  I'm maintaining my weight pretty well, but I'm not losing that much.  Ok, so it's ok.  Now I know.  I will stop the insanity.  Even though I just took a fresh batch out of the oven and they smell heavenly.  I will limit myself to one a day.  I have to.

Other than the muffin revelation, I had another revelation.  After work, I went to Kroger to get some final ingredients to make my muffins.  Today, I was feeling pretty good about myself because when I got on the scale this morning I was down 6 lbs!  So, I was feeling confident.  I wore some jeans that I haven't been able to wear in awhile.  Then came the Kroger monitor.  I know you've seen it as you walk in and walk out.  It's the security camera monitor that hangs in front of the door.  I'm not narcissistic, but I look at myself in those things and in store front windows and I know you do too.  When I looked, I expected to be happy about what I saw.  Instead, I was so upset.  That camera added like 20 lbs I swear.  I did not look that fat in the mirror this morning.  Just to make sure I wasn't seeing things I looked again on the way out.  Yep, still fat.  Good Lord.  If you want to maintain confidence, do not look up at these monitors in Kroger.  It scares me because I feel like you never know what you really look like.  Maybe the mirrors are lying.  Maybe you are really as big as the monitor makes you look.  I'm sitting here watching the Voice and I see Christina Aguilera  go up and hug these people and she's wearing this horribly unflattering outfit for her current shape.  I'm sure she looks better in person, but everything looks really big on TV.  You have to think that a superstar like that had to look in the mirror and feel good about what she looked like before she went on national TV.  But what if the mirrors are lying.  What if we all look like Christina Aguilera (minus the over-exposed cleavage)? Oh dear.  That's scary.  The scariest part is that I'm sure if I stood next to her in real life she'd be as big as my left thigh.  So if she looks big, I will look like a dinosaur that could eat her for dinner.  My new goal is to look good in the Kroger monitors.  When I do, I will strike a pose for the poor soul reviewing the tapes.

So, I started the day off good.  6 lbs down.  I had good intentions of eating very well.  I brought a sweet potato and vegetables for lunch but Nova made me go out.  So I ended up having a hamburger lettuce wrap with asparagus.  I'm home alone this week so I had good intentions of grilling chicken after my run, but I just didn't want chicken.  So, I made my smoothie and had a nice hot calorie-rich muffin.  Yea, I could've done better today, but tomorrow is a new day.

In case you want to try the extremely healthy but calorie rich muffins that I've been raving about, the recipe is below.  You can thank Tracy for this.  Just control yourself.  Just have one a day.  It can be your one treat.  Enjoy.

Until tomorrow...

Morning Glory Muffins
2 1/2 cups almond flour

1 tablespoon cinnamon
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups grated carrots
1 large apple peeled and grated
1 cup shredded coconut (unsweetened)
1 cup raisins
3 eggs
2 tablespoons honey (optional - I did not use it and they were still good)
1/2 cup coconut oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

-Preheat oven to 350
-In a large bowl combine flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt. Once combined add carrots, apples, coconut and raisins and mix well.
-In a separate bowl whisk together eggs, honey (if using), coconut oil, and vanilla (in case you haven't read my other blog post, you must microwave the coconut oil in order to "whisk" with the eggs.  Make sure it cools before you add the eggs or you'll have scrambled eggs). Add this to the "dry" mixture.
*Note the batter will be very thick
-Grease a muffin tin (I used some more coconut oil but I have to say this did not make them nonstick)
Spoon the mixture into the muffin tin. (These to no really "rise" so sort of overfill the muffin hole. They cook in the shape you leave them)
-Bake 40-50 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Tips:
The smaller the grate of the carrot and apple the better
Allow batter to rest for 30-60 minutes before spooning...they will be more moist.

Days 25 and 26...4 to go.

This was a pretty good weekend.  Saturday I got up early to ride the gaps.  Unfortunately I had to go without my riding buddies.  Wendy got sick, Kristy was busy winning her age group at the Tri2Remember triathlon, and Tracy was still boycotting her bike and the gaps.  At 5:45 on Saturday morning I decided to go alone.  Probably not the grandest of ideas but I really wanted to ride and I really wanted to do the gaps because the official 3 gap ride is only a couple of weeks away.  I woke Marcus up to tell him my plan and he said that it was a bad one.  I asked him why and he said because I didn't know how to fix my bike.  This is true.  But, I told him there are plenty of other cyclists that would be up there and I'm sure they would be willing to help one of their own.  Then he asked me why I was asking him if I was going to go anyway....I told him I wasn't really asking ;-)

My beautiful view on the tail end of my ride in Suches

So, I set out alone.  I'm not sure if was nervous or really excited to do it by myself but I had an extreme high on the drive up there.  I was jamming out to Florence and the Machine and God had painted an amazing sky with the mountains as a back drop.  It was stunning.  Though I would miss my friends, I was looking forward to some alone time.  It proved to be very cathartic.  I couldn't have asked for a better day.  I did better than I thought I would riding by myself.  I thought I might be slower since I wasn't chasing anyone, but I turned out to have a pretty good pace for me.  Riding time was 3:15.  A solid effort I think.

When I got back from the mountains, I went straight to Mom and Dad's because Mom and I were going to a fundraising event for Congressman Graves in Rome.  We were spending the night.  We had a great time.  First of all, we always have fun when we are together.  Second, Rome is a surprisingly cute little city.  Third, the Tams were the entertainment and they are always good.  I love me some oldies.  Mom and I are known for our lack of a sense of direction.  We actually went through Adairsville to get to Rome....not exactly on the way.  Oops.  At the event, my food choices were limited.  So I had hamburger with no bun and celery and carrots.  Just what I wanted.  I ended up having a Lara bar for dessert.  Mom did her best not to tempt me on the trip.  Typically when we go on a road trip we have lots of good snacks.  Not this time.  On the way back I stopped to gets some dehydrated apples and pepitas.  Since I was eating, Mom felt like she could and so she snacked on doughnut holes.  Again, why couldn't I have her genes?  Seriously not fair.

The Tams (check out the little Tams, they were awesome!)

While on the trip, I read a new book I've been working on, The First 20 Minutes.  It's all about the science of exercise.  At first, I was really liking the book because it said that you really don't have to stretch (I hate stretching).  It also said that tight muscles could be a good thing for athletes.  This weekend I got to the part in the book where they say that exercise really doesn't help with weight loss.  What?!?!  It said that it's good for health and fitness but it doesn't do much for weight loss unless all of your workouts are very high intensity.  This is terrible news for me.  It also said that the body is so efficient that when you workout for a long time and burn a lot of calories, the body gets upset with the negative energy balance (burning more calories than it's taken in) and it actually finds ways to hold onto extra calories.  In women especially (because of the reproductive thing), the body will tell the brain that it is hungry so you will eat what you burned and more!  Unbelievable.  Seriously.  How unfair.  However, this could explain a lot for me, and maybe you.  Here I am, exercising my little heart out and thinking, wow, I'm burning all kinds of calories.  I'm even burning more calories at rest because I exercise (another myth per the book).  And then my body is telling me that I'm hungry even when I shouldn't be so I'm probably eating way more than I burned during exercise and therefore I'm not losing weight.  Oh dear.  This is such bad news.  To make it worse, if you don't eat enough after exercise, the body will get even more nervous about the negative energy balance and may slow your metabolism.  I really can't win.  I'm hoping the book will turn the corner and offer me some sort of good news.  I'll let you know.  So far, not good.  I'm hoping for a miracle.  Oh, and by the way, this news in no way makes me against exercise.  It is still very good for your overall health it just won't make you skinny.  So keep doing it because you'll live longer and have a more enjoyable life when your 80 because you'll still be able to get around on your own.

Today on the food front it wasn't so good.  I started out with a good breakfast at the hotel of eggs and bacon.  I snacked on my apples and pepitas.  Then I decided to take a nap instead of eating lunch.  I woke up and ate another snack of a banana and almond butter just to get me through my 3 mile run that I had to get in.  After the run, I had a smoothie for dinner.  Take that for negative energy balance!

I have 4 official days to go.  I went to the grocery store tonight and stocked up to finish strong.  Marcus won't be here this week so I'll be cooking solo with no supervision.  He advised not to use the oven while he was gone because he knows how my cooking sometimes turns out.  I think I'll be fine.  I got ingredients to make another batch of muffins.  Tracy had them fresh out of the oven when I got to her house to run tonight and they smelled delicious.  Even though they are a hassle, they are worth it.

Here's to one more week of being really strict.  Pray for the stupid scale to dip to at least 5 lbs for my sanity sake.

Until tomorrow....

Day 24...6 to go.

Today I realized I think I've finally gotten all the crap out of my system.  I don't have the cravings.  Sure, I'd like to eat some things, but I don't crave them.  And, I can resist a lot more than I thought I could.  Take lunch today for example. Wendy B. and I went to Cinco.  It's a fabulous Mexican restaurant that is not the normal Mexican restaurant fare.  It doesn't have a Speedy Gonzalez, or a lunch special #2.  It's fresh food.  I really like it.  They also have the best chipotle style salsa.  It's smokey and good.  I typically would dive in head first with as many chips as I could stand.  Today, they brought the chips; they set them right in front of me; Wendy ate them, and I didn't.  I wasn't even staring at them.  I couldn't have cared less.  Really.  Really? Yes, really.  I typically order this great salad there but I was afraid the dressing would have sugar in it because it's some sort of mango dressing.  So, I settled for chicken fajitas....my new going out go-to.  I asked them to just bring the fajitas and guacamole and nothing else.  No cheese, no lettuce, no sour cream, no rice, no beans, no tortillas...just the chicken and onions please.  They were delicious.

After lunch we walked over to Parson's, a nice little gift shop.  Not only does Parson's have gifts, jewelry, Vera Bradley, etc., but they also have fudge, truffles, and other yummy things in their front display case.  I saw it all and I was ok.  I didn't start to shake or focus on them, I was perfectly fine.  Could this be true?  Could after 24 days of cleansing my body of the sugar and processed crap really cause me to stop being slave to them?  I hope so, I really do.  I have to admit though, it makes me really nervous.  I have 5 more official days of this thing including tomorrow (8 days until I'm going to cheat) and I'm really scared to cheat.  I feel like I will be like a drug addict and not be able to stop again.  I remember when I went Vegan for 6 months.  During that time, I also gave up refined sugar.  When I started, I had only intended to do it for a couple of weeks, but then I was scared to cheat and backslide, so I just kept going.  The turning point happened while Marcus and I were in Breckenridge.  It might have been the altitude, but one day after skiing we were walking around town and I smelled the most delicious cookies I had ever smelled.  We were on the street and I could smell them outside.  I stopped right then and there and told Marcus I wanted a cookie.  He looked at me puzzled and said "you do?" I did.  I really did.  In my head in that instant I thought I could isolate the event to the one cookie and go back to no processed sugar.  WRONG!  First of all, the cookie was delicious (I can still remember it).  Second of all, after I had it, even though I got a little sick to my stomach from all the sugar, I just wanted more.  I started thinking of all the things I could eat.  That night we went to this place where they had fried Twinkies and make your own Smores.  I got the Smores.  It was like it was a downhill spiral from that point on.  Next thing you knew I was back on the pizza and cheese dip too.  This Paleo thing is the first serious eating plan I've done since being Vegan.  I'm so very scared of what I might do after I cheat.  Can I limit it to one day a week??  EEK!!  I'm going to be positive and confident here and say that I can.  I mean, I have not really cheated in almost a month....surely I can make it 7 days at a time, surely.

Tonight, Marcus and I had Mom and Dad over for dinner.  We grilled flank steak with this awesome homemade Brazilian rub.  As a side we had homemade baked sweet potato fries.  We also had a nice salad with tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, and basil tossed in olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  I was quite pleased with how everything turned out.  I even set the table and used place mats and cloth napkins that we had received as wedding gifts.  I had to cut the price tags off of them.  Mom came in and said everything looked so nice but noticed there was no bread of any kind.  To be honest, I hadn't even thought about it.  I didn't think we were missing anything.  I have gotten so accustomed to just having meat and vegetables and fruit, the bread didn't cross my mind.  Nonetheless, I think everyone enjoyed it.  Dad had seconds.  Usually, I can tell if what I made was a fail by Dad, but he seemed to like it.  Mom didn't have seconds but she told us later she'd had almost a whole box of crackers before she came.  Why didn't I get more of her genes??? After dinner, I had a banana and almond butter for dessert and quite enjoyed it.

So, all in all, a pretty successful day.  Oh!  I forgot to tell you, I'm down 4.2 lbs.  I'm really hoping to break the 5 mark and keep it there when this is all said and done.  And, I wore my Miss Me jeans again today and they were even looser on me.  Tomorrow, Wendy and I are off to ride 3 gap.  That should deplete some of my calories :-)

Until tomorrow...

Days 21, 22, and 23....7 to go

So....it's been awhile.  I've had a few technical difficulties.  Marcus's speedy Dell laptop has not been cooperating.  Sometimes it connects to the internet, sometimes it doesn't.  I can't bear to try and type on the iPad (we don't have a fancy little plug-in keyboard).  So, it's been a few days.  The lack of carbs is affecting my memory, so we're just going to have to pick back up with today.  I can't possibly remember all the details from the other 2 days....well except for the fact that Marcus ate the last of my morning glory paleo muffins yesterday.  The good news is that I still didn't cheat....and still didn't lose a lot of weight so really you didn't miss much.

Though I won't go into all the details of the days I missed writing about, I will tell you that I did not have one piece of meat or one bite of eggs yesterday.  I couldn't take it anymore.  Really.  I rebelled.  I had my fabulous paleo muffins for breakfast.  Who new carrot filled muffins would be delicious?  I crave them.  Too bad they are a pain to make.  For lunch, I had a big sweet potato accompanied by broccoli, carrots, and bell peppers.  It was a very colorful dish.  Nevermind that I had to choke down the broccoli.  For dinner it was  my paleo smoothie and I was looking forward to having a muffin for a little dessert, but Marcus ate them all so I had half of one.  I do not feel bad about neglecting the meat.  I liked it a lot.

Today, it was back to the grind.  I started out with my eggs.  I attempted bacon.  I baked it in the toaster oven and actually got it too crisp for even me.  I couldn't eat it because it kept breaking into little pieces.  I ended up having about 1/2 a piece with my 2 eggs.  I had a few almonds for snack.  For lunch I got 2 new pairs of boots.  Don't worry Marcus, I returned a pair that I bought on Saturday and I had Nordstrom rewards and it was triple points day so I totally saved us money ;-) Besides, I needed them, both of them.  For my other lunch I had chicken fajitas to go from Frontera.  The problem with getting take out from a Mexican restaurant is that they give you free chips and salsa.  I already had to tell them to please not put beans or rice in the bag.  When I got everything back to my desk, I was going to take the chips and salsa into the breakroom so I wouldn't be tempted.  I accidentally knocked the bag over on my desk and a few chips fell out.  I almost instinctively picked them up and put them in my mouth.  Don't worry, I didn't.  I stuck with my grilled chicken.

This afternoon I went to CrossFit. I was still nursing my callouses that ripped on Tuesday from doing 99 knees to elbows from the bar.  I was seriously praying that no pull-ups or bar work was required.  Since Kelly is off getting married, Jack taught the class tonight.  I got a little nervous after part of our warm-up was explained.  It included mountain climbers....on the wall.  As you all know, I have a fear of being upside down.  Maybe the fear is having my legs above my head.  Though daunting, I did ok on these wall mountain climbers.  The actual workout was pretty tough but I was proud that I was able to push through it.  I actually am seeing progress with my strength I think.  Some of the progress is not real because I think I was sand-bagging early on because I was scared to do anything different or hard.  Ok, I'm still sand-bagging a little, but it's getting better.  I think I'm walking a fine line of being cautious and not injuring myself and still pushing myself.  For example, I looked back at my progress folder from 2 months ago and I had a deadlift max of 90 pounds.  90 pounds....really?!! Have you seen my quads?  While not as defined as I would like, they are powerhouses.  I mean, I don't mean to brag, but I did once hold the squat record for girls at West Hall High School.  I just haven't done that stuff in a long time so I'm scared of getting hurt.  On Tuesday, I actually did 165 pounds on deadlift.  Now, that is still not a big feat, especially compared to Whitney's 200 lb deadlift, but definite improvement.  Also, I've gone from using the biggest band to help me on my pull-ups to using a slightly smaller band and now being able to do about 10 without using the box to help spring me up.  I'm definitely getting stronger.  It's a good feeling.  I like it.

After CrossFit, I headed over to the college to meet Kristina for a run.  She's on week 2 of the Couch to 5k plan and still going strong.  We actually did 2 more rounds of running that we were supposed to.  She did leave with bloody heel from a blister, but other than that all was good.  Robyn, Wendy, Sophia, and Catherine also met us to run.  We are all going to try and do the Boo run in Flowery Branch.

So, 7 official days to go.  I'm really going to do this.  I'm still not thrilled with my results, but I'm proud of my resolve and self control so I will keep plodding along.

Until tomorrow....

Day 20...10 to go.

That's right...10 to go!  Two thirds done!  That feels good.  Yet, I'm still not skinny...ugh.  Only lost 3.8 lbs total so far.  I really wish I could lie and tell you that I've lost more and that eating this way is totally worth it. Well, I can't.  I promised to be truthful and I will.  If you want a real success story, you'll have to wait for Tracy's blog.  She's the success story.  Having said that, even though I have not seen the lbs drop dramatically, I have shown myself how much control I really can have if I put my mind to it.  I can resist temptation....even when I'm alone.  Take for example tonight.  My sweet husband was taking out the trash.  So, as a good wife, I decided to put a new bag in the bin.  As I leaned over to put the bag in, I saw a very familiar container.  A container that only an addict would recognize.  A Publix bakery box.  "Hmmmm.....what's this?" I say to myself.  I knew exactly what it was.  It was the most amazing cookie known to man.  The cookie that even Marcus and I could agree on.  The perfect mix.  The Tortica De Moron.  Yes,  Moron.  Don't hate.  It's pronounced with a very sophisticated Spanish accent (or at least that's how I pronounce it).  It's a delectable shortbread cookie topped with a chocolate fudgy morsel of deliciousness in the middle.  Usually, Marcus doesn't eat all his chocolate and scrapes it off and I eat it for him.  Extra goodness.

A little piece of heaven

You know that looks good.  Please note that the package says 4 count.  That would me that my sweet little skinny husband had already eaten 3.  I told him I found his stupid cookie.  He proceeded to help me out by finishing the last one.  Ok, let me get this straight, my husband can eat frozen pizza every night and eat 4 of these cookies and not gain a single pound?! Why???  Two words....not fair.

Instead of getting bitter and angry, I decided to make my own deliciousness.  I decided to make batch 2 of the morning glory muffins.  The Tortica De Morons made me think of them because they are so similar.  I started early this time because I knew how long it took me last time.  Of course, I learned from my previous mistakes.  No more scrambled eggs. The best part this go round was that I found a little gem in my cabinet.  A Black & Decker chopper thingy that's never been used.  I have no idea when or where I got it from.  Maybe a wedding present???  Not sure, but wow, my grating woes are over.  I grated the carrots and apple in about 5 minutes.  It only took that long because I had to empty it and measure it out.  So amazing.  A much more enjoyable baking experience.

The Black & Decker Miracle Machine as I like to call it

While the morning glory muffins were baking and filling my house with a decadent aroma, I re-heated my leftover steak fajitas from last night.  I bought some new guacamole last night and spooned a heaping spoonful onto my plate.  I went to lick my spoon and was disgusted.  Just so you know, Yucatan guacamole is horrible.  Don't buy it.  Stick with Wholly Guacamole or make your own.  Yuck!  Sorry Yucatan Peninsula.  I think this brand gave you a bad name.  

After dinner, I indulged in 3, yes 3 (don't judge....they are made with carrots!) muffins.  I also had some throat healing unsweet herbal tea (I have a sore throat as of this morning).  For the record, I am very full.  Probably shouldn't have had that 3rd muffin. I know better now.  

So, 10 official days left.  Not bad, not bad at all (today that is).  

Until tomorrow....

Day 19...11 to go.

I really feel like I'm on the home stretch now.  11 days to go.  I have a bit of a conundrum though.  See, because of my OCD personality I started this challenge a day before everyone else.  I usually only start "eating plans" on Sundays or Mondays.  You know, the first day of the week.  My feelings are if you don't start something at the beginning of the week, you're not starting fresh.  When I heard the challenge was starting on Thursday, my inner OCD-ness started to twitch.  I didn't know if I could handle it.  So, I decided  to start on Wednesday because I thought at least it was hump day and a point during the week where you could make a change.  Not to mention, I had been shopping and preparing the diet since the Sunday before. So I was just ready to get started.  Now, however, this means that I will be finishing a day earlier than everyone else.  My 30th day will be on Wednesday, September 19th.  That means, I can technically eat what I want on the 20th.  But we are having a cheat day group dinner on Sunday, September 23rd.  I'm really going to try and limit myself to one cheat day per week after I finish the challenge.  I would really like to try and continue this eating pattern (with a few variations) after the challenge.  In the past when I've done diets, after it's over, I eat whatever I want, and I keep eating whatever I want, and eventually, I've voided the whole diet.  I'd like to not allow the cheat day to creep to 2,3,4,5,10 days.  To stay strong, I have to limit the cheating to 1 day.  But now, I have to actually do the challenge for 3 extra days before I cheat!  Those are going to be agonizing I think.  So, actually, instead of 11 days, I have 14.  2 weeks from today, I get one day where I don't have to worry about what I put in my mouth.  Still on the home stretch, but 14 doesn't sound as good as 11.  Oh well, I think I can handle it.

Yesterday, we had a Paleo breakthrough moment.  When I say we, I mean Tracy.  I just got to witness and enjoy the moment.  We went shopping for a dress for a wedding Tracy is going to in Vegas.  We also shopped for her a girls night out outfit for Vegas too.  She found a beautiful dress, but the highlight of the day, at least for me, was the jeans she found.  If you're a woman, you know the importance of having a good pair of jeans that your butt looks really good in and you feel hot in.  I think it's one of the best investments you can make.  Just for the record, my husband does not agree....especially when I have investments in multiple pairs of jeans.  Anyway, Tracy came out of the dressing room in these jeans and I actually applauded.  I couldn't help it, they looked that good!  I was so happy you would've thought they were my jeans.  Tracy looked fabulous.  I told her if I was here, I would sleep in them.  Not only did these jeans look amazing, but they were a size that Tracy hadn't worn in awhile.  I'm so happy for her.

Just witnessing Tracy's jean moment, I was inspired to keep going.  Stick this thing out.  I decided not to get discouraged by the numbers on the scale.  I decided to be patient with my body.  I decided that stripping my body of the refined sugar and all the useless carbs is me taking care of my body and making it perform better and live longer.  I think my body will eventually let go of the extra weight that I'd like it to lose.  I know my body is changing even though the numbers on the scales aren't cooperating.  I mean, I've only been doing this for 19 days.  When you think about how long I've been eating poorly, 19 days isn't all that long.  I can't expect instant results.  Instant results don't usually last.  I must remember that.  

Until tomorrow....

Days 17 and 18...12 to go.

Yep, I got lazy yesterday and didn't blog.  We got home semi-late.  We went to the Buford / Gainesville football game with Mom and Dad and Tracy and Matt.  It was a good game but definitely an upset with Gainesville beating Buford.  I wasn't really tied to either team, but I was kind of glad for Gainesville because they have not beaten Buford in a few years.  The game was good, but so was I.  I watched the entire game without snacks.  There were children everywhere with Skittles.  I wanted them, but resisted.  I told Mom that what I've found on this "eating plan" is that I'm not often hungry, I just have cravings.  What this tells me is that I probably used to eat a lot of junk when I wasn't even hungry.  I was mistaking my cravings for hunger.  Although I'm not totally enjoying all of this protein, it is definitely filling me up.

This morning, Tracy and I got up early to do our 11 mile training run.  For breakfast, I had 2 of the morning glory muffins.  Oh!  The muffins!  I forgot to tell you how they turned out!  Well, I find them delicious.  It may be that I have nothing of the muffin type for awhile, but I thought they were great.  Marcus said they smelled good and maybe they were better if you didn't eat them.  Hmmmm.  However, he certainly did eat some.  We are now out of morning glory muffins.  Luckily, I have lots more carrots to grate for another batch.  Tracy says I was grating wrong for it to take me that long.  I might have to get a lesson or two from her before I attempt batch 2.

Now, back to the run.  I can honestly say that it wasn't that bad.  I actually felt much better than I did on our 9 mile run a couple of weeks ago.  For full disclosure, Tracy and I are doing Jeff Galloway's run/walk method for this race.  We are running for 3 minutes and walking 1 minute.  At first, we felt like we were cheating.  But after comparing how we feel after running long mileage like this and the alternative, we think it's awesome.  Just when you want to quit up a hill, the Garmin beeps and tells you it's time to walk.  It's so nice.  We actually find that we run faster than we normally would when we are running and our bodies feel so much better.  We finished and we felt pretty good.  So, we planned to meet later to go to lunch and shopping!  Now, that's a great reward.  We are really shopping for Tracy to get her clothes that fit her new, much skinnier body.  Before we shop, we are going to Ted's Montana Grill.  4 words: Green and Hot Burger.  A Bison burger with avocado and peppers (sans bun of course).  YUMMO.  So, with activities planned and little time to focus on food, it should be a good day.  I think we will pack snacks to help us resist the mall temptations: pretzels, cookies, yogurt, pizza, Starbucks.

Oh, and today, when I typed the title of this post, I realized that there is only 12 days left.  12!  I don't know why, but that sounds so doable.  Less than 2 weeks.  Now, having said that, during the run today, Tracy and I discussed how to continue this "eating plan" in a sensible way after the 30 days.  We both feel it is really important.  So, we will continue to limit grains and sugar.  I, for one, will be adding beans back to my diet so I don't have to eat meat all the time.  I might throw in some brown rice and quinoa.  I'm still going to avoid the dairy.  However, I plan to have one cheat day per week that I don't have to think about the food that I put in my mouth.  I think this will help me be more successful, and well, happier.  I'm kind of surprised at how positive I am this morning considering I was back to only losing 3 pounds this morning.  I was able to get my Miss Me jeans on yesterday.  I haven't been able to comfortable wear those in a long time.  That was definitely a win.  I'll take it.  It's going to be a good day.  I can feel it.

Until tomorrow...

Day 16...14 to go. Over half-way by a day...

Ah day 16...over half-way through.  I wish I could tell you the next 14 days were going to be a breeze, but I know they're not.  I'm to the point where everything looks delicious.  I went to Kroger today to re-stock and the temptations were everywhere.  First of all, it is rude to have to go through the bakery to get to the natural foods section.  So that I didn't crack under the pressure, I went to the deli counter and got a quarter pound of Boar's Head turkey.  I ate the entire thing as I shopped.  Much better than the cookies I usually get at Ingles when I shop.

All day, I just wanted food.  I think it was because I didn't start off right.  I didn't have my eggs.  I only had a Lara bar.  That wasn't enough to keep me full.  By lunch I was starving.  I went to lunch with Mr. Himes, the 2nd best salesman in the world (my dad is clearly the first).  Mr. Himes is also working on his diet.  Unlike me, he's seen dramatic results on the scales.  He's lost 25 pounds.  Good for him.  On the way to lunch, I told him I just wanted pizza.  Instead, we went to one of my favorite restaurants by work, Marlow's Tavern.  There was a flat bread special which I think Mr. Himes was interested in, but he said he didn't want to tempt me.  So, we both decided on the burger lettuce wrap.  It was quite good actually.  It would have been better with a little cheddar cheese, but hey, not bad.

The rest of the day I just wanted snacks.  Twice, I had a spoon full of cashew butter.  I clearly needed something different that would be a treat.  I decided to attempt to make the morning glory muffins Tracy shared on Facebook the other day.  After she posted the recipe, she asked if I wanted her to make me some.  I told her that wouldn't be necessary, that I was becoming quite domestic.  Um, I should have let her make them.  They were a little more difficult than I thought.  First, they called for grated carrots.  I looked for already grated carrots at Kroger, but all they had was shredded.  So, I bought a ginormous bag of carrots.  I wasn't even sure I had something to grate them with.  Grating is hard!  I think it should count as my exercise for the day.  I had to do 2 cups!  After about 1/4 cup, I gave up and went to the blender.  There was a grate button.  Now, I'm not sure why there was a grate button, because its grate was not great.  All the carrots kept getting jammed in the blades.  I had carrots everywhere.  Also, after my manual grating, I noticed that carrot juice may be my new natural self-tanning formula.  My whole hand was was a nice yellow-orange color.  My next challenge was coconut oil.  I think oil is a loose term when it comes to the coconut kind.  It's solid.  Now, the recipe said to "wisk" the eggs and the oil.  I tried.  The solidness did not allow for much wisking.  Also, I got some of this "oil" on my hand.  Please note, although coconut oil looks and smells like coconut sorbet, it tastes nothing like it.  Once I figured out that I could not wisk the solid out of the oil, I decided to do what anyone would do and microwaved it to make it melt.  What I didn't think about was the eggs that were mixed with the oil.  After the microwave, the oil was liquid and the eggs were solid....scrambled.  Ugh!! I had to throw that batch out and start over (just the oil and eggs, not the carrots thank God!) Seriously, next time, Tracy will have to make these for me.  I am really not capable no matter how hard I try.  I finally got them in the oven and I'm currently waiting for them to be done.  They smell delicious.  I'll let you know how they turn out.

Tonight, before the muffin fiasco, I went rollerblading and running with Kristina.  This time, we skipped football practice and went to Gainesville College.  We stuck to an empty parking lot.  While we were a little better this time, the rough pavement took Kristina down once.  She fell like a champ though.  Earlier this week, I watched videos on YouTube on how to stop on roller blades.  Apparently, you're supposed to drag a skate while it's perpendicular to the front skate.  Nope, that's not happening.  I just slowed to a stop instead.  After skating, we ran.  Kristina has decided that she is going to do the Couch to 5K program and train for a race in December.  I am so proud of her.  She's been doing South Beach and she is doing well.  Tonight was her 2nd run of the program.  She did great.  I can't wait to watch her progress.  I told her that Tracy and I started running with that plan.  I told her that we were not able to run 3 minutes at a time and on Saturday, we will be running 11 miles for training for our 2nd marathon.  It's truly amazing what you are capable of once you get your mind out of the way.  Sometimes, people think the activities I do are extreme, but God gave us amazing bodies and I believe he wanted us to use them to their utmost ability.  I feel like I can truly appreciate what a miracle the body and all its systems are after it makes it through some of the stuff I put it through.  I love seeing others push themselves past their comfort zone and surprising themselves.  I think it is the most gratifying experience.  So, how are you going to push yourself today?

Until tomorrow....

Day 15...15 to go

The half way point.  It's definitely a milestone, but you know what you have left.  In the words of my favorite Buns of Steel videos, "one more like that!"  This has not been completely horrible, it really hasn't.  I haven't had any uncontrollable cravings.  I think the secret is not giving into them.  I think, for me at least, going cold turkey is the best policy.  The night I had a bite of Marcus's dessert it hit all kinds of triggers in my brain.  I NEEDED something else.  If I don't have it, I can resist it.  I really wish I could get to the point of moderation.  Life would be much more enjoyable, but right now I'm still not strong enough.

Having said all that, I'm still quite annoyed with the lack of weight loss.  I feel like I've been eating extreme.  No sugar, no carbs (except fruit), no alcohol, and still no remarkable weight loss.  I keep teetering around the same numbers.  My clothes are a little looser.  I would just like to see the scale change.  I really thought this was going to be transforming to my body.  I know I have 15 days to go, but so far I'm not impressed.  I will stick with it because I don't like to quit, but I'm not happy about it.

Sorry for the short post....I'm just not feeling very motivated today.

Until tomorrow...

Day 14...16 to go

Up 0.1 lbs!  Ugh!  It's ok.  I'm ok.  I'm not going to let it get me down.  Really.  I'll wait to freak out tomorrow if I gain more.  I think I would be totally fine if I didn't lose weight everyday, it's the gaining that is really getting me.  Somebody else told me today that it was because I was replacing muscle with fat.  You know...muscle weighs more than fat.  I'm seriously considering going to do the dunk trunk (body composition testing) just to see how much muscle and how much fat I'm dealing with.  I'm really kicking myself for not doing it before the diet to see where I started.  Currently, I'm feeling very muscle-y.  I just got back from CrossFit and it was a tough workout.  It was called Barbara.  5 rounds of 20 pull-ups, 30 push-ups, 40 sit-ups, and 50 squats.  When I got done, I was sure that I would be able to see the cuts in my triceps and shoulders.  Nope.  Apparently, it's not that quick.  I do feel stronger.  I'll give you that.  I can't wait until I can start seeing some of my strength.

After CrossFit, I literally forced myself to go run 3 miles.  I almost bailed on myself.  Tracy and I are doing a completely idiotic race in early January.  It's the Disney Goofy Challenge.  It's a half marathon on Saturday followed by a full marathon on Sunday.  It's worse than goofy...it's stupid.  It's going to be painful and we are paying to have pain inflicted on us.  We did the marathon last year and I swore I'd never run another one.  This is completely Tracy's idea.  I just couldn't let her do it alone.  I am a little competitive and I don't need her getting one up on me.  So, clearly, I had to sign up.  We are already training for it.  Every time we tell our husbands we are already training, they say "It's not until January!"  I'm pretty sure neither one of them has ever ran 39.3 miles.  Anyway, our plan is pretty manageable as long as we just do what we are supposed to.  You don't have to quit your job to train.  All you have to do is run twice a week for 30-45 minutes and then do your long mileage on the weekends.  Some weekends have longer miles 2 consecutive days to get your body used to it.  Last year, I severely underestimated the short runs during the week.  I would easily blow them off because they were only 30 minutes.  I mean, how much could 30 minutes really help you?  A lot apparently.  Tonight I was scheduled to do a 30-45 minute run.  I had already decided that I was going to do it after CrossFit.  After "Barbara" I didn't really feel like running.  I almost talked myself out of it.  But in the end, I said "suck it up!".  I did it.  It was a very slow pace because  my legs were slightly seized from the 250 squats...ok, I'm always slow, squats or not, but that's beside the point.  The point is I did it.

The run was the 2nd success of my day.  The 1st came at the company lunch this afternoon.  Saint Weaver catered Jim & Nicks barbecue.  I was pretty excited about the choice because I love their meat.  I knew there would be some delicious mac and cheese, so I came prepared with my own sweet potato as my side.  On either side of me were people eating the famous Jim & Nick's cheese biscuits.  If you've never had these little bits of heaven, they are tiny little muffin like forms that are warm and filled with cheese.  They are even a little sweet.  Bread, cheese, and sugar....my food trifecta.  You don't get better than that.  I watched as my neighbors savored each morsel.  I stayed strong.  Then came the chocolate cake and the lemon pie.  For the love of Pete Ms. Weaver!!  First cake day, now catered catastrophe! The worse part was when I was helping clean up afterwards.  I actually had to wipe down the dessert table where I had to brush the crumbs from the table into my hand.  I literally had a weak moment where I thought about eating the pieces of chocolate icing that I had in my hand from the table.  Sick, I know.  I stayed strong.  I remembered what PJ posted on Facebook the other day - "Last night, I was stronger than a brownie".  This helped me stay strong.  I am stronger than the food I love.  I am. And, I am getting stronger everyday.

Until tomorrow...

Day 13...17 to go

So as you already to know from earlier, I started the day out a little better today....down 1.5 lbs!  Yea!  Total 4.6.  Re-motivated a little.  A good thing because today was going to be challenging.  A holiday with no real plans.  A lot of time to think about food.  I decided it would be best to sleep in, you know, have less hours to eat or think about eating.  Tanner kind of messed that plan up by barging in my room and jumping on my bed and then directly on my chest.  So, I reluctantly got up.  I wasn't quite feeling eggs so I went to my new favorite treat, the Paleo smoothie.  I laid around until lunch and decided on bacon and eggs.  I finally decided I should go do something active so mom and I took Chester and Tanner to Chicopee to walk.  You could cut the air with a knife it was so thick.  We had to turn around when I noticed Chester and Tanner's tongues were hanging sideways out of their mouths.

When I got back I had another Paleo smoothie for snack :-) Then, we got ready to head over to Mom and Dad's for a Labor Day barbecue.  Mom said she would have cavemen friendly food.  Score.  Dinner was good.  I had some chicken, some Italian sausage, grilled okra, and grilled eggplant.   I did pretty good.  I wasn't craving dessert too bad.  After dinner, Marcus went and got his phone and realized that he forgot that he planned to meet some people for dinner at Napoli's.  He said that we needed to go.  We already ate, but we would go hang out.  Great.  Napoli's.  If you're not familiar, Napoli's is a fantastic pizza/Italian restaurant in Flowery Branch and Oakwood.  Even though I had already eaten, I could imagine myself indulging in one of their pizza's or calzones.  I could drink their marinara sauce.  Yes, it's a great idea to go to Napoli's in my state.  I told Marcus it was like taking a crack addict to a rave (or wherever people do crack...I'm not quite sure).  So, we went.  I guess this was God's way of testing my earlier sentiments about no one being able to force food down your throat.

When we got there I sat next to Betty.  A few minutes later, her and Nate's pizza arrived.  God strategically sat it directly in front of me.  I even served Nate and Betty their first slice.  Complete torture.  Then, to top it off, Shaun's boys ordered cheese sticks.  Those were in arms reach of me.  They didn't finish them so 3 delicious little fried mozzarella pieces of heaven sat there staring at me the rest the night.  I resisted.  I splurged on a diet coke to get me through followed by several glasses of water.  Then Betty ordered coconut sorbet for dessert.  When she ordered it, I didn't even flinch because I really don't like coconut that much.  When it arrived, it was all I could think about.  The worst part was that I didn't even have any gum.  I apologize now to Betty and Gretchen if there were times I totally blanked in conversation because the cheese stick voices were talking to me.  Luckily, I escaped unscathed.  We got home and I immediately went to the cabinet to get a Lara bar.  Not at all like pizza or cheese sticks, but something good...sort of.  What a nightmare.  The good news is that I made it.  I did it without caving in.  It's not something I would like to put myself through on a regular basis, but now I know I can do it.  I can be social even without food.  A breakthrough of sorts perhaps.  We'll take it as that at least.  Now to bed before I have any more cravings.

Until tomorrow....

Day 12...18 to go

Yesterday was a good day.  I woke up and weighed myself and I was down another 0.6 lbs...not substantial, but a decrease nonetheless.  I was happy.  After a couple bad days of increases, I think I've talked myself into the idea that possibly the first few days I lost a lot of water weight.  I mean,  the week before the Paleo plan began, I ate like crap.  From nachos to Chick-fil-A milkshakes, there was a lot of bad stuff in my body.  The first few days of the diet were probably a shock to my body.  Then I think my body regulated to the plan; hence, the gained pounds.  Now, I'm thinking my body is actually losing real fat...I hope.  There is nothing scientific about this and I didn't read somewhere that this could happen.  I'm totally making it up, but it sounds reasonable and I'm going to go with it.  Now, if I begin to gain again, I'll have to review my hypothesis.  For now, it works.

After weigh-in, I laced up my shoes and went to meet Wendy for a 3 mile run.  We were both pretty dead from our bike rides yesterday.  Our legs were shot.  Within 5 minutes of the run, my legs felt like cement blocks.  We finished, but it wasn't pretty.  I keep telling myself that I really need to stretch and use the foam roller to loosen up my legs.  So far, I've rolled out once and that was because we got extra credit points in the Paleo challenge for static stretching one day.  I really need to do it more.

After the run, Marcus and I had some breakfast and headed to church.  For lunch, we had Moonies!  Another plug for this little Flowery Branch establishment.  All of their meats are so good.  They are all slow smoked.  Marcus had the turkey and it was phenomenal.  I had the brisket again.  It was good, but I kind of wished I had gotten the turkey this time.  I went away from water and indulged in a Coke Zero.  OMG. The little things.  That Coke tasted so good.  I can't even explain it.  Because I've virtually cut all sugar out of my diet (except for natural sugars found in fruit), everything tastes so much sweeter and satisfying.  It's amazing.  I don't think I'm supposed to have Coke Zero or Diet Coke very often because of the fake sugars, but today, it was delicious.  Another quick food plug is for freeze dried fruit.  I found it at Fresh Market and the brand is Crispy Green.  The only ingredient is the fruit itself.  Nothing else.  You would never believe that if you tasted it.  They have all different kinds of fruit - bananas, mangoes, apples, pears, strawberries, plums. They are delicious.  My favorite is the bananas.  For whatever reason, the freeze drying must really bring out the natural sugar.  They are so sweet and delicious.  Bryan, Wendy's husband likened the texture to Lucky Charms marshmallows - a little crunchy and sweet.  They are not cheap, but they are so worth it!

After lunch, Marcus, myself, Bryan & Wendy went to Lake Lanier Islands to rent paddle boards.  Wendy and I were going to count this activity as a new outdoor activity for 10 points in the challenge!  The trouble with being on the lake on a holiday weekend is that everyone is hanging out and having a good time.  Margaritas seem like they are in order.  Unfortunately, we haven't found any caveman margarita recipes, so we stuck to our water bottles.  Other than a couple of falls, we had a great time on the boards.  My legs were even sore while doing this.  It's really a total body workout to balance and paddle.  Wendy and I attempted a little yoga and some push-ups on the board.  I think we have some work to do on our balance.  We are going to try and get a small group together to have a private yoga class on the boards.  We think it will be fun and funny at the same time.

We finished off the day with an early dinner at Coastal Breeze.  I still couldn't get up the nerve to order fish so I went my normal filet mignon.  I'm finding that I really like red meat....probably not a good thing, but definitely caveman-ish.  So, all in all, not a bad day.  I will say that I really wanted frozen yogurt or cookies later in the evening but I managed to resist.  It's mind over matter.  You just tell yourself you can't have it and there are no options.  It's not fun, but it can be done.  I heard a hypnotist on the radio one day that was telling a story about working with a client who wanted to lose weight and stop eating bad foods.  The hypnotist said before he even started the hypnotherapy, he asked the client if people were forcing him to eat all this bad food.  The client said no.  Then the hypnotist said, oh, so you have to eat this food for religious reasons.  The client said no.  The hypnotist said, oh, so someone is shoving this food in your mouth.  They client said no.  Then the hypnotist said he didn't think hypnotherapy was necessary.  This is so simple but true.  The only person who controls what I put in my mouth to eat is me.  Sometimes it feels like the craving is so strong that there is a magnetic pull into my mouth but that's not true.  It really is mind over matter.  The question is, how strong is your mind?  I know my mind is not as strong when it's just me.  That's why it was necessary for me to join this Paleo challenge.  I needed accountability (and a little competition) to get me through it.  Even blogging each day helps me.  I can put into words what I feel each day.  I also know that it is my responsibility to be completely honest in this blog and I definitely don't want to tell everyone that I failed miserably and ate and entire cookie cake and I still have icing in my hair.  With 18 days to go, I'm not done yet, but I feel much stronger mentally than I did when I started.  Thanks for being part of my accountability group.

Until later....

(Sneak peak for day 13....I weighed this morning and I was down another 1.5 lbs; total 4.6 lbs.  So far, hypothesis still holding true)

Days 10 & 11...19 to go

Day 10.  Not a good day.  I did not cheat, but I was bitter.  I woke up in the morning and started off on the complete wrong foot.  I weighed myself to find that I gained back 3.3 of my 4.7 lbs...meaning I've only lost 1.4lbs in 10 days.  Bitter.  Depressed.  Frustrated.  Ugh!!!  I am deprived and I'm not losing any weight!  I posted my frustration on our Facebook accountability group.  I was told I should not be weighing myself.  I know, I know.  I shouldn't be, but I'm a very progress oriented person.  I have to see progress.

After the morning, I was not very motivated which is not a good thing for cake day.  I needed to be at my best to avoid the cake.  I should have had a good breakfast but I was so mad at the diet I refused to make eggs.  I just had a banana.  A little later I had some almonds.  I did not pack my lunch so Nova and I planned to go out.  I had absolutely no desire for anything on the diet.  We went to Old Town Tavern.  I ordered a grilled chicken salad with oil and vinegar.  Nova had a personal pizza.  She did ask if that was going to bother me before she ordered.  Nova's pizza came out smelling all delicious and my bland salad came out, well, bland.  I took one bite of the chicken and gagged.  Ok, it really wasn't that bad, but it tasted like old chicken.  I'm so sensitive to my meat these days that I can tell when something is not fresh.  In the least high maintenance voice, I told the waitress I didn't think the chicken was fresh.  She apologized and asked if I wanted another or if I wanted something else.  I couldn't find anything else that I wanted so I settled for a hamburger with no bun and the vegetable medley.  The waitress came back later to let me know that the cook said the chicken was cooked that morning so he didn't know why it wasn't fresh...um...because it was cooked that morning....not fresh to order.  Ok, sorry, that did sound extremely high maintenance.

After lunch, I returned to my desk to find an email from Saint Weaver.  The cake was served.  Oh dear.  Yellow cake...oh dear...with lemon filling and lemon icing.  Ok, so not my total favorite, but a very good end-of-summer choice nonetheless.  I really wanted some, especially since I was feeling bitter from my current weight situation (oh, yea, that makes sense...I'm mad that I weigh too much so I really want cake...just confessions of an addict).  I wasn't going to get any cake, but I wanted to go look at the cake, you know torture myself.  Ms. Weaver found me just in time....she saved me from disaster.

After work, I went up to my parents' house to kayak for Kristy, Tracy, and Mike to do an open water swim.  I didn't feel like swimming (still bitter).  While we were chatting before the swim, I asked Tracy how much weight she'd lost so far.  She looked ashamed...like she didn't want to tell me.  I know she didn't want to hurt my feelings.  "Thirteen pounds" she said sheepishly.  Then I asked Kristy how much weight she'd lost (she's doing South Beach), "Eight pounds" she said.  My head started to spin.  What in the world?!? Now, it would seem that I'm not happy for my friends' success, but that is the farthest thing from the truth.  I am so proud of them and happy for them; I am just insanely JEALOUS and bitter that I have only lost 1.4 pounds.  They could tell by my face I was very frustrated, so the did what every friend would do and tried to make me feel better by lying to me.  Tracy said that it was because I didn't have that much to lose (lies!); Kristy said it was because I was doing CrossFit and I was gaining muscle (lies); then Tracy thought it might be from my Boar's Head turkey that might have sugar in it (checked, it doesn't).  I was just waiting for them to tell me I was big boned (biggest lie people tell others who are larger than them).  I told them it was ok, that they didn't need to try and find an excuse for my anti-success. I am currently ahead in the Facebook points race; however, let it be known that I will not accept any winnings for points if I do not look any different.

I was so bummed from the day's events that when I got home, I didn't really want to eat and couldn't even blog.  I didn't want to be a complete negative Nancy.  Marcus came in from cutting the grass and asked what was for dinner.  I just shrugged.  He said he kind of wanted eggs.  Oh! That's a great idea!  I haven't had those in so long.  Sounds wonderful dear.  So, he brought me 2 scrambled eggs which I eeked down.  Then I went to bed.

This morning started out better.  I did weigh myself (I know I'm not supposed to but I'm OCD) and I was one pound lighter than the day before making my total loss 2.4 pounds.  Not great, but improvement.  After weigh-in, I got ready to go meet Kristy and Brandon for quick 57 mile ride in the mountains.  Since I had eggs for dinner, I decided to have something different.  I made my own Paleo smoothie.  I threw in almond milk, almond butter, a banana, unsweetened cocoa, and some ice in the blender.  Delightful, I must say.  I then had to pack my snacks for the ride.  The thing that stinks about long endurance rides and/or runs and Paleo is that you really can't have any of the quick energy nutrition staples that you really need.  I had to get creative.  I packed individual packets of almond better, freeze dried fruit, and a Lara bar.  I had to make sure I had proper nutrition to get through the mileage and the climbing.  The ride was difficult to say the least.  My legs bonked sooner than normal.  It was a struggle.  I did feel that I had enough to eat but I could just hear my quads crying for carbs.  Kristy was in a similar boat with South Beach.  Brandon was very patient with my lethargic pace and we finished in just under 6 hours.  For those of you that don't cycle, that's a long time for a  57 mile ride; granted, most of it was in the mountains, but still.  That was slow.  Thanks to Brandon and Kristy for waiting for me.

After the ride, I was more than tired and extremely hungry.  I had chicken fajitas and guacamole for lunch.  That was delicious.  Then I took a nice long nap during the Georgia game.  Marcus woke me up at 4:30 to get ready for dinner.  He had made reservations at a restaurant he wasn't going to tell me the name of in Atlanta.  He said he checked out the menu and there were things for me to eat in my caveman state.  On the way to the restaurant he says "If you were going to cheat, I would do it tonight."  Great.  Not only do I have to have deal with my own evil thoughts, I have to overcome taunting from my husband.  I told him I wasn't cheating until it was over.  He said, "ok, but just so you know, they have a pastry chef on staff".  Fabulous.  Why don't we just take an alcoholic to a bar.  We got to the restaurant which turned out to be Kevin Rathbun's Steak (http://kevinrathbunsteak.com/menu.html). He was a customer of Marcus's and he also beat Bobby Flay in Iron Chef.  This couldn't be bad.  The waitress brought our menus along with a wine list.  I thought about having a glass of wine, but I declined.  I quickly found the filet on the dinner menu and tried not to look at anything else.  Marcus asked if I saw the grilled cheese with tomato soup appetizer.  I told him I didn't, but thankfully, the image is now permanently imprinted in my brain.  Marcus decided on a fried oyster appetizer and seared Ahi tuna for an entree.  He was getting the tuna so I could try some.  I usually don't eat anything that swims (texture and smell issue that goes way back), but I told him I would try some things while on this diet. First the oysters came out.  They actually smelled delicious...either because they were fried or because they were served on a pancake (mmmm.....pancakes).  The waitress also brought us some bread in the cutest little basket.  It looked amazing.  Marcus confirmed it was amazing and ate it in front of me.

Cute little bread box with tiny assorted breads

My steak was delicious.  I accompanied it with grilled asparagus which was also very good.  I tried a bite of Marcus's tuna and I kind of liked it.  Maybe a new swimmy thing to try in the future if I can get up enough nerve.  The waitress cleared our plates and handed us a dessert menu.  Marcus took one look at it and grabbed my menu and said that I shouldn't look.  I insisted that I look.  He mentioned again that he would cheat if he were me.  I told him I would not.  He decided to indulge in dessert and went with the peanut butter and banana baked Alaska.  It came out and looked like a piece of art.  Then, in true I'm-on-a-diet-and-he's-not Marcus fashion he proceeded to commentate on all the flavors and textures he was tasting like he was a judge on Iron Chef.  I'm surprised there wasn't a puddle of drool in front of me on the table.  Finally, after I could stand no more, instead of saying get thee behind me Satan, I said GIVE ME A BITE! And so, I cheated.  I had a bite of his dessert...and it was good.  In my head I wanted to grab the plate and eat the rest of it and finish by licking the plate.  However, instead, in my controlled caveman voice, I told Marcus it was very good but I wouldn't care for anymore, thank you.

"ooohh....this is delicious honey"

After dinner we went to REI where I purchased some running and biking apparel as well as my dessert...mixed freeze dried fruit.  The baked Alaska couldn't hold a candle to my freeze dried strawberries (NOT).  All in all, I think I did pretty well today.  I did cheat; however, I didn't go over the top.  I will say that what they say is right...sugar is the most addictive substance on earth.  Just the mere bite of that dessert has my cravings in high gear right now.  So, I will take a melatonin and go to bed.

Until tomorrow....